What I’ve Been Up to Lately

It’s hard to post blogs when you’re in survival (or deployment) mode.  I’ve not been able to post as much as I’d like lately.  It’s been difficult to even share this with people.  I know that our words hold power to change worlds, so I also have wanted to be careful.  It also seems that not too many people understand what this situation is like.  So, I guess I’ll give this a go.

My amazing, wonderful, beyond-all-dreams husband has been dealing with some severe back problems.  They started with some incidents and injuries while he was deployed.  They got worse and worse, but didn’t affect him too much.  One day, something happened.  We don’t even know what it was.  He just woke up unable to walk!  It’s basically been a downhill journey from there.  It’s been a year and 3 months, since the initial-whatever it was.  He’s being “treated” by the military, and I use that term very, very loosely.  They are basically giving him no options for treatment, since they don’t do the type of surgery that would be the most beneficial for him.  He is also in need of multiple surgeries, which is why the type is so important.

Iaian has gone from being a top athlete, to having a handicap sticker, using a cane, and sometimes is not even able to get out of bed.  It has been so rough to see someone that I love so much go through something like this!  He is in constant pain, and there’s nothing anyone can do.

Here’s the kicker.  We KNOW that God heals!  We KNOW that Jesus provided for our healing on the cross.  We KNOW that it is NOT in God’s will that Iaian be hurt!  We KNOW that Jesus gave us the authority over sickness and demons.  We pray constantly, with all authority, for Iaian’s healing.  Iaian believes.  We all believe.

Most of my days have been spent “just trying to get stuff done”.  We’ve got 5 kids, and we homeschool, and Iaian’s been unable to move.  It takes all day to do all of the things I need to do.  This is what I mean by deployment mode.  I spend my time “getting stuff done.”  The only HUGE difference is that he’s not getting shot at, and he’s not going to die unexpectedly.  But it is so hard seeing someone you love in agonizing pain all of the time.

We had a huge blessing the other day.  Some days have been better than others with Iaian, but they are never “normal” days (like he’s functioning the way he used to).  Something knocked him out again, and he was unable to even lay down without constant, make you scream, pain.  I was desperate.  I just threw it out of facebook, so see if anyone would be willing to come over and pray and worship with him.  We’re not talking about a begging session here.  We’re talking about power filled prayer!  I was just overwhelmed by the response of the people that said they were coming!  Our house ended up filled with people praying over him, singing over him, and just loving on him!  We had people praying around the world at the same time!  By the end of this two hour glory fest, HE WAS STANDING!!!  He hadn’t stood in two days!  What was the most amazing about all of this is that it’s not something we are going through alone.  A lot of the time, I feel like I am the only one that can help him.  But there are things that people can do!  I felt like I had a spiritual weight lifted off of my shoulders when they all came in!  Other people were standing in the gap for him!

I believe for a full recovery for Iaian-somehow.  I don’t know how it will happen, but it will!  He will be having some appointments coming up to reevaluate the situation.  It’s gotten much worse, since he was first looked at.  Now, I will have to take him to his appointments.  Now, I will be in the room with the doctor.  Let me just say that we WILL get answers!  Iaian WILL have a treatment plan.  This man joined the army running some crazy time for his 2 miles, and HE WILL LEAVE THE ARMY WALKING!!!  They owe him that much!

Well, I share this with you so that you’ll join in victorious prayer with us!  I share this with you to be real.  Not all things are sunshine and roses, but the things that aren’t, are intended to hurt us, and are NOT of God!  I know God works all things out for good…so if it’s not good yet, it’s not the end.

My Writer’s Block

So, I’ll admit, I’ve had some writers block lately. I’ve had a few issues in my head that have been in the forefront of my mind. They are pretty much unrelated, but maybe if I get them out, I’ll be able to move on. This is not my full synopsis on these issues, I’m merely just getting them off of my chest.

1. The new anti-soldier, anti-war movement in Christianity. This may not actually be a new thing, but Christians are coming out of the woodwork taking a stand against war and violence. Now, you don’t have to agree with the war to support our troops! Regardless of your thoughts on our action in foreign countries, the soldiers that fight for your freedom, are people! They are men and women that risk their lives for you. All of the soldiers that have deployed have sacrificed something for you, some more than others, and even some lay down their lives for you! I have even heard it said that a freedom won through violence is no freedom at all. Are you kidding me?! This is a smack in the face to everyone in the world that does not have the freedom that we enjoy! (Did you know that there are people in this world that actually aren’t free?) Many of the proponents of this anti-war/violence message, simply leave out any views on American soldiers. By doing this, it leaves their followers wondering whether or not to support our troops. Most followers, quickly move into the category of anti-soldier. Let’s be clear: silence is a position. Let’s keep our focus here. You don’t have to agree with the war to support the PEOPLE that have experienced things far beyond your understanding. They are real people with lives of their own, families, dreams, and ambitions, they simply decided that your freedom was worth fighting for, and are willing to give up everything to ensure your freedom for years to come!


2. Modesty: oh dear, sweet modesty. I’m so glad that some people hit it big by writing blogs about not wearing yoga pants. I’m even happier that others are standing up to say how ridiculous this emphasis is. I mean, really! I’ve got to say, I’ve been in churches, all my life and can maybe count on one hand the amount of outfits I’ve seen people wear that have been immodest. I really just don’t think it’s a big issue (unless the issue is maybe, jealousy, insecurity, or a distrust in your husband). Most of the time, I think the real issue is vanity! People that preach the modesty message, spend so much of their time swimming in vanity. Even if you’re trying to dress like the Amish, if that’s what you’re always thinking about, it’s vanity. I think my biggest issue with all of this modesty talk, is that an unhealthy obsession with the covering of your body promotes a rape culture. This is the reason that victims can’t come forward when they have been violated. They are met with judgments. “Well, what were you wearing?” “What kind of signals were you sending off?” “Where were you?” It makes the judgment that if you were wearing yoga pants, you smiled or had a friendly demeanor, or walked down a street with a streetlight that was out, you were asking for it! Let’s be clear: Modesty has nothing to do with rape, it is the manifestation of the evil desires and sin of the perpetrator! The purpose of rape is not to live out some sexual fantasy, but humiliation and hatred being acted out!


3. What to do when discernment has left the building? I grew up in a fundamental church. (I’ve been using the word fundamental a lot more recently because if you look at the definitions, it describes it to a “T”) There was tons of emphasis on discernment. (Looking back, it’s a bit odd because everything was discerned as “wrong” or “bad”…but anyway, the emphasis was there). Since then, I have learned that for every counterfeit, there is an authentic. I’ve been spending more of my time pursuing the authentic. Much of this fundamental discernment was fear based. Fear is very linked with control, and the desire and need to control. I have seen many fear driven people, setting aside all discernment to pursue things that allow them to be in control. Strange, but true. Then, there’s the other side. There’s the people that “your momma warned you about”. I didn’t know they existed, but they do. It seems that much of the church is divided into two categories: fear based “discernment” or no discernment. (Just for the record, I have actually found a group of people that has merged the two: love of the Word AND the Holy Spirit.) But yea, I guess there are those people that are blown around by every word that comes forth, and end up dabbling in some very dangerous stuff! But what to do with this? That, I don’t have an answer to.

So, there it is. My writers block issues. I do feel better after getting all of this off of my chest, but the question is, was this just for me to get out, or is it supposed to post this on the web for all to see?