What I’ve Been Up to Lately

It’s hard to post blogs when you’re in survival (or deployment) mode.  I’ve not been able to post as much as I’d like lately.  It’s been difficult to even share this with people.  I know that our words hold power to change worlds, so I also have wanted to be careful.  It also seems that not too many people understand what this situation is like.  So, I guess I’ll give this a go.

My amazing, wonderful, beyond-all-dreams husband has been dealing with some severe back problems.  They started with some incidents and injuries while he was deployed.  They got worse and worse, but didn’t affect him too much.  One day, something happened.  We don’t even know what it was.  He just woke up unable to walk!  It’s basically been a downhill journey from there.  It’s been a year and 3 months, since the initial-whatever it was.  He’s being “treated” by the military, and I use that term very, very loosely.  They are basically giving him no options for treatment, since they don’t do the type of surgery that would be the most beneficial for him.  He is also in need of multiple surgeries, which is why the type is so important.

Iaian has gone from being a top athlete, to having a handicap sticker, using a cane, and sometimes is not even able to get out of bed.  It has been so rough to see someone that I love so much go through something like this!  He is in constant pain, and there’s nothing anyone can do.

Here’s the kicker.  We KNOW that God heals!  We KNOW that Jesus provided for our healing on the cross.  We KNOW that it is NOT in God’s will that Iaian be hurt!  We KNOW that Jesus gave us the authority over sickness and demons.  We pray constantly, with all authority, for Iaian’s healing.  Iaian believes.  We all believe.

Most of my days have been spent “just trying to get stuff done”.  We’ve got 5 kids, and we homeschool, and Iaian’s been unable to move.  It takes all day to do all of the things I need to do.  This is what I mean by deployment mode.  I spend my time “getting stuff done.”  The only HUGE difference is that he’s not getting shot at, and he’s not going to die unexpectedly.  But it is so hard seeing someone you love in agonizing pain all of the time.

We had a huge blessing the other day.  Some days have been better than others with Iaian, but they are never “normal” days (like he’s functioning the way he used to).  Something knocked him out again, and he was unable to even lay down without constant, make you scream, pain.  I was desperate.  I just threw it out of facebook, so see if anyone would be willing to come over and pray and worship with him.  We’re not talking about a begging session here.  We’re talking about power filled prayer!  I was just overwhelmed by the response of the people that said they were coming!  Our house ended up filled with people praying over him, singing over him, and just loving on him!  We had people praying around the world at the same time!  By the end of this two hour glory fest, HE WAS STANDING!!!  He hadn’t stood in two days!  What was the most amazing about all of this is that it’s not something we are going through alone.  A lot of the time, I feel like I am the only one that can help him.  But there are things that people can do!  I felt like I had a spiritual weight lifted off of my shoulders when they all came in!  Other people were standing in the gap for him!

I believe for a full recovery for Iaian-somehow.  I don’t know how it will happen, but it will!  He will be having some appointments coming up to reevaluate the situation.  It’s gotten much worse, since he was first looked at.  Now, I will have to take him to his appointments.  Now, I will be in the room with the doctor.  Let me just say that we WILL get answers!  Iaian WILL have a treatment plan.  This man joined the army running some crazy time for his 2 miles, and HE WILL LEAVE THE ARMY WALKING!!!  They owe him that much!

Well, I share this with you so that you’ll join in victorious prayer with us!  I share this with you to be real.  Not all things are sunshine and roses, but the things that aren’t, are intended to hurt us, and are NOT of God!  I know God works all things out for good…so if it’s not good yet, it’s not the end.

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What You Don’t See

You may think you know this man

Standing tall, in ACU’s, a confidence in his eyes

His wife and his children at his side

His future ahead of him, if fate agrees


What you don’t see is his death

The death he faces every time he boards the plane

The releasing of all that he is, or even hopes to be

To get the mission done, to keep us safe

He sacrifices his life, liberty and pursuit of happiness

For all those in our country that he holds so dear


His family meets him at the hanger

Wondering what kind of man they will find this time

His very spirit morphed into survival

What you don’t see is his fight

His fight to the death

No one can see the demons he brings home

The demons that thrive in the very sand his boots tread daily

Spirit’s so dark, that no one can even see them, much less understand

Daily, he fights them, to the death

It’s his life or theirs


The man that stands before you is clothed in valor, strength and honor

But what you don’t see is what he has given up

His gift to you is peace

His gift to you is strength

His gift to you is dignity

His gift to you is security

He gives these things selflessly, with no regrets

He charges them to his honor

These gifts weren’t free, they cost him these very things


The man that stands before you, appears to be so normal

That is the face of strength he puts on, while hoping that his heart will follow

But what you don’t see is that he has given up everything

Daily life has become excruciating

The future of promise he once held is gone

Yet, he still holds on to hope

And if asked to do it again…

He would lead the way